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Noticing Decisions
I grit my teeth and my stomach drops. Heavy. Sometimes I stop breathing. Sometimes I breathe hard. My throat tightens, closes up. Any words that want to come out must build pressure first. Then they...
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The Heart of It
The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but...
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A New Language
© Photography by Tanya De, 2007. He tells me that maybe this year will be different. That I’m working hard on creating sacred spaces where I pay attention to the things I’m worried about. He assures me...
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Sick of It
Ruby circ. 2007. It’s the simple things in life that turn the peasants into leaders, and we know the differences between the walkers and the sleepers. —Aesop Rock, Attention Span I’m catching myself...
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Rebuilding
I’m rebuilding a house. I think the frame is still good, but everything else must go. Sledge hammers to walls, I’m completely gutting it. In between rotting beams I’ll find old newspapers, children’s...
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False Assumptions
“Trees grow in a certain direction, you know? They depend on things like sunlight and water to tell them where to go. Where they’ll thrive. Where they’ll survive. It’s like I’ve been lacking that. I...
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Goldilocks
© cuppyuppycake, 2013. I get to the point where I’m ready for something new. When everything feels like it’s in a pretty good place and I have a nice handle on all the things I’m doing. A good routine...
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Neglected Questions
© Regan House Photo, 2012. I order my coffee and he asks my name. Smiling, I tell him. The word rolling off my tongue in its constant and familiar fashion. Our eyes lock for the second time during the...
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Littered Lot of Gravel
© Patrick Lentz, 2007. I catch myself walking around the city in all sorts of weather, all different times of day. Yoni Wolf is singing in my ears over and over again, “And always one rose grows though...
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Fifty-Third
Me, Rodney, and Prairie in Kansas, 2004. “You know, I just never really got into Bob Dylan.” Those were some of the first words I ever remember you speaking to me. It was late at night, pushing...
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Shh, Shh, Shh
© Jack Amick, 2011. Cups of coffee to make up for the sleep I missed because I had too many cups of coffee. A mind running over my schedule for the term and all the things I want to get done in the...
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Goldilocks
© cuppyuppycake, 2013. I get to the point where I’m ready for something new. When everything feels like it’s in a pretty good place and I have a nice handle on all the things I’m doing. A good routine...
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